Let’s be honest: 2012 hasn’t really gotten off to a great start for me. If anything, I’ve been told my stories make my friends feel better about how their years have started. There have been times when I’ve really questioned myself and, especially in the last week, times when my faith in myself has seriously wavered. I’m not sure that I’ve ever fully understood what getting to rock bottom was until now.
But this recent turn of events - for the worse - has given me time. Time to reflect on decisions I’ve made in the past and why I made them. Time to do some true inner soul-searching. Time to think about me for once, instead of everyone else around me. I am sure that in the coming weeks, there will be bad days, decent days, and maybe even some good days. I know I’ll be discouraged, disappointed, and angry. But I also know that this is a true test of my own character. And I know that I don’t have to do this alone.
For a long time, I was under the assumption that it was Melody vs. Life. That’s it. But this past week alone has proven to me that my friends and family are here. Just last night, I was sitting in the living room of my boyfriend’s apartment agonizing over the unexpectedly huge hurdle that planted itself in my path this week. Both my boyfriend and his roommate, a longtime friend of mine, put an end to my wallowing. They told me that it might take time, yes, but I was going to be okay. In fact, they insisted, I was going to look back on this and tell people that this was probably one of the best things that ever happened to me. Five minutes later, I received a message from a former co-worker saying the same thing. These are not the only instances where my friends and family have had to pick me back up lately. I cannot express enough how grateful I am to all of these people who still believe in me for some reason that I still cannot comprehend.
The uneasiness that has settled at the pit of my stomach is still there, without a doubt. But I know that, with time and a little bit of luck, I’ll land on my feet.
Sure, 2012 got off to a pretty rough start. But it’s only January. I’ve got 11 more months to turn this year around. I plan on starting right now.
When I opened up the Better Homes & Gardens cookbook lying around at my boyfriend’s apartment, I had one thing in mind: ground beef. I had just seen a commercial for Manwich (A sandwich is a sandwich, a Manwich is a meal) on TV and found myself craving ground beef, something I had not consumed in awhile…
What are your most memorable words of inspiration?
Parker is 11 months this week. His 1st birthday is in a month - and he’s gotten SO big in the year that he’s been alive. Still as adorable as ever though. It just feels like he was a kitten just last week. Baby’s growin’ up!
